I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
