so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
