oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
