ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
