If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize