i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
