Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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