every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
