Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
