Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
