My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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