her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My vagina just recognized that song.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
