my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
