Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
