My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
