His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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