Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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