I'm drive I can fine osifer
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
So squirting runs in the family.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
