He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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