i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
