Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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