hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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