I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
