moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
