I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
