I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
