So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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