I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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