I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
