well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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