Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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