The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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