I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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