Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I just blew my weed a kiss
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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