Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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