hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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