At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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