my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
