oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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