Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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