I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
