I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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