a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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