I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
