I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
