I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I can't put those talents on a resume
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
