My first STD was from a foam party
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize