Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I came so hard my ears popped.
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