People with herpes should wear stickers.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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