if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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