Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
