Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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