Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
