I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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