you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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