my sisters under your porch take her home
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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