then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
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I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
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I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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