lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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