I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
